SB apprenticeship: Day 17

This is my life now…

  • What did you learn yesterday?
  • What are you going to do today?
  • What do you expect to learn?

Yesterday was frustrating, I started three assignments, struggled for a while and then asked Brandon for help, only to have him be like, “Oh yeah, that’s really hard.” On the one hand, it’s good to know that these are actually hard, it’s not that I’m just dumb or whatever, but on the other, having everything you start end with frustration is hard. The assignments for this quarter have ramped up pretty sharply. I think one of the hardest things for me about programming is accepting that its ok to ask questions and that no one thinks I’m stupid. I got a lot of help with the tic-tac-toe game that I submitted to apply for the apprenticeship, and so I’m constantly worried that I’ve somehow committed fraud, and that any moment now Brandon and the rest of the people at Smashing Boxes are going to realize it and kick me out of the building, after standing in a line to point and laugh at me. I’m aware that this is also pretty much the dictionary definition of imposter syndrome. The way this plays out, though, is that I ask the other apprentices for help, or I text my boyfriend and ask him for help, when what I really should be doing is asking Brandon, since he’s my mentor and all. I’m pretty sure that no one’s going to point and laugh at me, but my head is dumb sometimes.

Today I’m going to work some more on the Roman Numeral with Math and the Gilded Rose katas, and then do some more of the Rails Treehouse course.

I expect that I’ll make some progress on the katas, but I’m trying to be realistic and ok with the fact that I may not get them done. Slow and steady wins the race!

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